Why you’re failing at Online Dating
Dating Advice For Men – Why you’re failing at Online Dating
Many men sign up for online dating sites with high hopes and soon find that they’re inbox is empty and no one has shown any interest in them. Clearly this can be demoralising and could cause some men to give up on online dating altogether. All is not lost though as we’ve put together this handy guide to help you identity why you might be failing at online dating and how to prevent it from happening.
Stand out from the Crowd
Online dating is a competitive environment. Just like in the real world the most attractive women get bombarded with emails on a daily basis and struggle to keep up with them all. You probably think that these women don’t give most men a chance when in fact the reality is that they’re overwhelmed by the amount of interest in them. The trick is to make yourself stand out from the crowd. With hundreds of emails they’re simply not going to reply to all of the emails so you need to make sure your email is one that they do reply to.
This is not as difficult as it might sound. You need to understand how to create a killer email and what to avoid saying at all costs. A killer profile is a must so that when they click through to your profile it sparks their interest. Getting your photo gallery is also a key factor. We’ll look at some of these later in this article with some practical examples of what works and what doesn’t. All too often online dating is about men chasing women. If you get the above right then you can turn it around so that you have women doing the chasing.
Misunderstanding how women think
It’s easy to believe that we’re not good looking enough for many women to be attracted to us and that’s why we’re not succeeding with online dating. We all know that attraction is important but fortunately for us guys there is much more to it than that. How often have you seen stunning women with guys and wondered ‘how did that happen?’ the next assumption to make is that he must be rich but in fact more often than not its simply about compatibility. If you allow yourself to believe that you’re not good looking enough and that you don’t have much else to offer then you’ll never succeed with online dating. Check out the ‘top 10 rules of attraction’ by searching on Google (that’s a whole other article that I won’t go into here!) and tap into all of them. Get it right and you’ll have women eating out of the palm of your hand. It really isn’t all about looks.
Avoid weak language
Online dating is harsh. That ‘delete’ button next to each email inside an inbox should strike fear into the hearts of every male online dater. To avoid ending up in the ‘delete’ pile avoid statements that kill the attraction straight away. For example: “genuine guy looking for nice girl’ screams bland, boring and is a definite attraction killer. Never use the term nice guy or looking for. These terms immediately make you sound lonely or desperate and your email will be skipped over or deleted with the hundred others that are almost exactly identical. Instead try something like ‘My ideal girl should be fun, caring and smart.’ A statement like that makes you sound confident and in control.
Choose your words carefully
As mentioned above its hugely important to pay attention to everything you write. Email and your profile are all your potential dates have to go on so you’d better make sure you give the right impression. Online we don’t have the benefit of being able to convey our intentions through body language so words matter. There are lots of ways to create an interest through choosing our words carefully like in the example above. Always read back your profile or emails and try to put yourself in the position of the recipient. If they make you sound clingy or needs then you need to go back to the drawing board.
All too often guys fall down by not having the ability to maintain interest. You exchange a couple of email and then all goes quiet. Sound familiar? Frustrating indeed but you can prevent this from happening. It’s all about getting the pace right. Don’t jump in straight away with ‘want to meet up?’ but equally give them something interesting to catch their attention and want to reply to find out more. It’s a good idea to have an idea of what you will put in your next three to four emails to keep them interested and build on each reply that you get. The biggest mistake is rushing in and trying to force a date too early. There’s plenty of time for that and if you want to succeed at online dating then patience is the key.
Be The Alpha Male
Being too nice can be a problem. Yes women do ultimately want a nice guy but in the early stages describing yourself as ‘nice’ can make you seem weak or needy. Early on women are more interested in confident, strong characters that are in control and know what they want. This is where language comes in and is particularly important as described earlier. Equally it’s important not to come across as arrogant or a jerk or pretend to be something we’re not. Honestly is always the best policy but avoid coming across as ‘nice’ and you’ll have much more success.
A picture speaks a thousand words
Looks matter to women but there are many other factors that are equally important. They say that a picture speaks a thousand words and that’s true also for online dating profile pictures. Always upload a photo gallery with several pictures telling the story of who you are. A face picture doesn’t have the impact of you surrounded by your friends, laughing and having a great time. It makes you seems well liked and fun to be around. If you love pets include a picture of you walking your dog with friends or enjoying any social activity that you love doing.
If you’ve been struggling with online dating then hopefully some of these tips will help you improve your online dating experience. There are so many factors that are a part of successful online dating but choosing the right online dating website is crucial. Visit our Top 10 Online Dating Site list and read our independent reviews to find the right site for you.
To meet for sex with local adults try an Adult Dating site.